Edge Effect Coaching

The roots of a relationship are just as important as the roots of a plant.   Changing behavior has to take place within the context of the relationship!  It has to grow out of the relationship! This takes much longer!  It requires us to move from fixing behavior, to building a relationship from which new behavior grows!  One of my biggest concerns is when we try to teach a new skill or stop a challenging behavior as separate entity.  As if the behavior is tied to the heart of a person.  We can't chop off a tree at its roots to correct the branches.  Neither can we separate the behavior from the need!   The skills are important and have to be explicitly taught.  For example, I can't calm down if I don't know how!  However, I can be given every calm down tool in the box and it will be meaningless and not internalized without a secure base of relationship. Positive behavior support is not a program or a curricu...

We had a teeter totter on my playground when I grew up.  It was the most challenging and daunting piece of play equipment.  More challenging than the old homemade swing and the basketball court on the gravel parking lot. Usually the older kids from our one room school took over the teeter totter right away to test their abilities to knock each other off.  I couldn't wait for my chance to try to stay on the top while the older kids worked to knock me off.   This is the visual I have in mind when I'm working with a child who struggles with challenging behavior.  It seems as if the child's challenging behavior sits at the top and people are trying to knock it off.  Instead of calming the behavior, it ups the ante and gives children like me an opportunity for a challenge! What I've learned is behavior is more like a scale.  If we tip the scales on the side of the protective factors, the challenging behavior will come down.  Building st...